One Single Yellow Rose

Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for the time you spend visiting my blog!!  My current blog is the result of the inspiration resulting from an empty and lonely Mother’s Day….As I always grieve the death of my own mother who died on October 16th, 1990 …and of the loving and honorable husband I was pray-fully blessed with… who never thought of disrespecting my mother… in ANY WAY!!…. and who honored her on her very last day here on Earth, at the young and tender age of 57,…

With One Single Yellow Rose

..…which he personally placed in her hands!!!  

Our faith in Jesus allows us to long for an eternity where we will be happily reunited with our loved ones in Christ!  Carry on my dear friends in Christ…..the world is full of evil, heartache, and strife….. but have no fear….. for He who lives within us has already conquered this fallen world!!!  

Thank you firstly…. to my blog friends who read my crazy and unprofessional writing even though I only attempt to honor Christ! ….secondly…to my everlasting and faithful husband Brian… who loved my mother so very unconditionally…and last, but certainly not least…. to Stacy…my beloved friend…who through beautiful conversation last night, provided me the inspiration to write this blog!!! 

Please continue to pray for those lost and searching for answers !

Your friend in Christ, 

Kathy 

 

 

 

 

rose 1

 

“The life of mortals’ is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;

The wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.”

(Psalm 103: 15-16 NIV)

 

One single yellow rose…placed so lovingly in a deceased loved one’s last embrace…..

So very long ago….yet so brilliantly vivid in the ones’ who cherish the memory of that well- lived life left behind.

So soon to depart …and so painful to the ones who remain lingering here…

Free-falling in this sinful land where we,

Who steadfast believe…

And are just passing through to our God-given homeland!!

One single yellow rose…. Found intentionally along the path to that finite farewell….

And clouded in temporary heartache and loss.

A mourning daughter heavily sighs through tears, 

 Unsuspecting and unaware

Of the unconditional motive of the one who greatly respects…

That life once lived….

And, 

 Of the existing life that was brought forth

From her womb.

One single yellow rose…to beautifully represent a life renewed!

 Borne from the scattered and very few yellow roses…

which were handpicked and delivered to her deathbed vase.

 Handpicked… only from the garden she kept…

 Among the prickly weeds and thorns that grew there.

The few yellow roses which flourished just higher among the weeds…

and stood majestic on her doomsday nightstand.

  And the weeds unable to strangle…

The life growing there, 

 of the very last week of her earthly suffering.

 

 

rose 2

 

“Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—

They are like the new grass of the morning;

In the morning it springs up new;

But by evening, it is dry and withered.”

(Psalm 90: 5-6 NIV)

 

One single yellow rose….. Given from the young and vibrant hands of a son in law…

And freely into the now resting hands of a deceased mother in law.

Yet the wind continues to blow in this barren land…

And the evening light fades the vibrant color to only a dimmed black and white,

to those who continually choose to wander here….

But that single yellow rose… 

I know now,

Without any doubt, 

Lives eternally….

No East…

 No West…

Does it even know,

as our fallen world now dictates us all,

This beautiful flower survives,

in all immortal conditions!

Because His Kingdom rules over all ……

 

And that single yellow rose will survive the fall…..

 

His Kingdom will rule….

Forever…and ever!

Advertisements

Rain…..Fall On Me!

“So that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.”

(MATTHEW 5:45 ESV)

 

Summer Rain

 

This night is so very lonely…its never-ending fears begin to torment me….

The nightly doom sets in early on this very dark mid- night.

Wreaking havoc on my faith….

My soul…..

And my ever- present being….

My Lord…. And My Savior!

 “Hear my plea”…

“I will follow you…. Even if I walk all alone,”

“Till the break of day.”

This early daylight begins without a whispering sound….

The day’s morning sun is bright and blinding to my weary, sleepless eyes.

The low-lying and lingering ominous clouds seem to overshadow any lasting hope of this sunrise.

And yet… there You are…

Flickering….

Glowing….

 In the distance…

Like a candlelight ready to quickly extinguish ….

On this early morning daybreak…

My Lord…. And My Savior!…

 “Hear my plea”…

“I will follow you…. Even if I walk all alone,”

“Till the brink of night…..”

 

 

The seasons seem to change so quickly now….my breath is growing more swallow….

My body is diseased and weakened….by the years of my rebellious youth,

I so fear my own impending death…..

As I reach blindly into the aged darkness that surrounds me…

 Reaching only to grab hold of Your rod…

 And Your staff…

Yet I think I grab hold to…

 a bruised and nail-pierced Hand……

My Lord…. And My Savior!…

 “Hear my plea”…

“I will follow you…. Even if I walk all alone,”

“Till the verge of death…..”

 

I return as dust to the darkness I once called home….

Lying deep within the frozen ground

 Which once inhabited me.

And in this cold darkness…

I hear the distant sound of a magnificent horn.

I rise and look into this vast darkness….

And search desperately with weary, sleepless eyes

 Where Your constant light once flickered…..

My eyes grow clearer……

My vision as crisp as it once was…….

Am I awakening to a room in my Father’s house?

I scream out in utter fear……

Yet it is not my own shattering voice I hear…..

I hear another voice….

Speaking slowly,

Lovingly,

Is He welcoming me?……

“This is YOUR room in my Father’s house!!”

Though I do not deserve this upcoming wedding feast!….

I walk in,

 with my head held high!

Invited by the One who called me! 

My Lord…. And My Savior!…

 “Hear my plea”…

“I will follow you…. Even if I walk all alone,”

“Till the marriage supper of the Lamb.”

 

Rain

fall heavy on me in this present darkness…

For I fear no evil!

First Season Mourning Dove

“I said, oh, that I had the wings of a dove!  I would fly away and be at rest.”

(Psalm 55: 6 NIV)

 

mourning dove pic 1

 

Early morning on the first day of March, the cold rain is pouring down like sheets of melting ice in this messy transition of His miraculous seasons….

And my soul screams out to Him just like His seasons of everlasting change….

 

Fickle… yet faithful…

Discontent… yet satisfied…..

Cold…yet warm….

Doubtful….yet so very hopeful

Enemy….yet lover…

Depressed….yet eternally happy!

Alive… yet dying!!!! 

Pouring out my own tears of icy rain in my deepest dark sorrows of late wintertime…

Only to the One who listens to my ever-evolving yearly cries….

“Why do You leave me here?”

“In this dead winter barren,  a land of loss and suffering?”

I long for Your paradise

 

 

 In…..“Immanuel’s Land”

“Glory, glory in Immanuel’s Land!”

 

And……What a barren wasteland in this finite time…

it has truly become….

Of pain…and suffering…..

Of heartache and sure death!

I so try to love You always and stay faithful to Your Promises!

My unanswered questions just as many as Your long- awaited answers…

 I have yet to hear You speak…

I so desire to see Your face and kiss Your trampled, scorned feet!

But I will continue to walk blindly into this vast void of cold bitter darkness.

And in this freezing rain I fear will soon turn to freezing snow….

I glance out at Your wondrous creation and see my first season’s mourning dove…

I do not hear his mourning dove song….

As much as I try to listen, he stands silent in this freezing rain.

Sitting heroic and patiently …

Not even a ruffle of feathers does he flutter….

Perched high and mighty…

He is and always is!

Though I truly feel….

He is mocking me. 

Unfazed by the current condition of Your varied and wondrous seasons…

 Is he only there to remind me?

Of Your undying promises?

The promises You will keep!!!!

The promises you will keep to me, my Lord?

 

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, He will never let the righteous be shaken.”

(Psalm 55: 22 NIV)

 

 

Yet we deny what He shows us…in our deepest sorrow!

” I AM…”

I am or I’m, a form with the English copular verb to be

“I Am that I Am”, a common English translation of the response God used in the Hebrew Bible when Moses asked for His name

I am (biblical term), a Christian term used in the Bible

 

“Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I Am.”

(John 8: 58 NIV)

 

I am pic

The Christmas season is finally over…. but what a sad time of year it truly was for me…

My finite joy is now gone… and my words of rejoice and praise… have been silenced!

For those I love the most…. And those I long to spend eternity with…

Yet they are still among us……

They are now gone to me…..

… I did not gaze upon their beautiful faces…or hear their tender words of love.

….BUT in His Mercy… He gave me a glimmer of hope…

A precious child….

The very same age as the very ones I longed for this past Christmas season…..

 

 

And another glimmer of hope… I did not deserve!!

An unsuspecting text I did Receive…….

A final Victory?……..

a Hard Fought Triumph?……

 Maybe perhaps…..

Just a glimmer of hope!!!

 

For there are no true and righteous wars fought here….

For You have already won the war!!!

 

Simple words !

Two words that mean such very much to me….

“I AM….”

“I AM!….”

I AM…….!!!!

 

 

 

“All my devotion is like sinking sand. I’ve nothing to cling to but your sweet hand. I’ve no clear emotions keeping me safe at night: Only your presence, like a candle light. After everything I’ve had. After everything I’ve lost. Lord, I know this much is true, I’m still drawn to you. I pour out my sorrows just like a precious oil. I kiss your feet, Lord, with a holy joy. My tears an offering of my highest praise; Your eyes say ‘welcome.’ And I receive Your gaze. ‘Cause after everything I’ve had And after everything I’ve lost Lord, I know this much is true I’m still drawn to you After everything’s been said. After everything love cost. Lord, I know this much is true I’m still drawn to you. You know I am Lord, I know this much is true I’m still drawn to you.”

“Audrey Assad”

…February 23, 2018

 

 

I HEAR YOU!!!!!! 

I HEAR YOU!!!!  

 

I will someday kiss your Feet my Lord with a holy joy!!!!!…..

yet also with great tears of sorrow!!!!

 

great tears of sorrow ……..My Lord!

 

 

 

Merry Christmas!

To all my WordPress friends….

Believers and Unbelievers alike….

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays!!!!To all my unbelieving friends…

I write only for you!!!

And if you are suffering or in pain this season…so am I….

For this time of year is so very hard….so very difficult!

But I have a Belief in my heart….A belief you do not yet possess….

The trials and tribulations I share with you….. Shall one day pass…

And…. I will awaken in my Savior’s arms…….

Not because I am worthy to awaken there…

But only because I believe in His promise….His plan…..His salvation….

For I am unworthy, far more unworthy than you!

YET I BELIEVE….

I BELIEVED!!!!!!

Happy Holidays!  To you and your loved ones!!!

To my believing friends….

He who was willing to be born into poverty and lived a poor man’s life…

He who willingly went to the Cross and was crucified for us…only to give us eternal life…

A new hope….A new life….

He who loved us before the beginning of time.

He gave His all….

Do not ever forget or take for granted…. the free gift that has been given to us….

Merry Christmas! 

You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father’s face and tell him you have received his Christmas gift.

John R. Rice  

 

Dedicated to my eldest granddaughter…. Madison! 

Who just celebrated her 7th birthday on December 6th…..

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! 

‘Tis The Season

christmas card picture

 

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”

(Luke 2:11 ESV)

Another cold winter morning persists as I awake to the yearly task of preparing Christmas well wishes to extended family and not too distant friends.  And as I prepare and address each card….I marvel at just how drastic and sudden our lives seem to change each and every year….

Of recent births and deaths….. Of happy marriages and painful divorces, and of blended families that seem to heal from old wounds.   The stable greeting of a family member or friend I have come to depend on… yet quietly wondering if that greeting will survive one more year.  The scattered well wishes that will never be heard from again…at least not here. The cheerful Christmas wish from yesteryear which is now a painful and hurtful attack.    The now silent and sometimes painful echoes of the past mixed with the security and well-being of the present day and always closing each year’s end…..

Today…it is converging all at once on a Christmas believer who truly knows the reason for the season.

Cards of old friends who are now foes…and of old foes who are now friends.  Cards of those who were once considered strangers… but this year or last, our paths have crossed…and perhaps only for a short time….But smiling at the thought that my own handwriting in the greeting card I send this year may one day remind them of an old Christmas past…..

Family members who share strong bonds and family where bonds are now broken… Christmas cards of old and ones from just last year…. Fancy and playful, religious and serious….All providing a moment in time for us to revisit a fractured friendship or a silent voice… a ravaged family or a true love that never fails to cease…….

I rummage through broken boxes overstuffed with the memories of Christmas …. And I stop to cherish the precious handwriting on a Christmas card of one no longer with me…..The dried ink as vivid, alive, and still ingrained as it once was….. Just frozen here in time.   I touch their once written script and lovingly embrace their memory of a distant past….But only because I remain hopeful of a future celebration

 For I truly know the reason for the season…

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

(Romans 6:23 ESV)

 

Rejoice if you truly know the reason for the season!

And pray for those who do not!

 

 

Familiar Adversaries

 

cabin trees 2

“For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death.  You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.”

(Matthew 10: 20-22)

 

 

Before the first snowy morning dawn approached…a heartbroken prayer was gently and softly spoken…

 “Do not forsake me Lord, for I have warned others of the continuous works of evildoers….yet I fear I have lost the battle…”

And this battle waged was not fought on torrent enemy grounds…but in safe and familiar sanctuaries …..

By quite familiar and desperately loved faces.

Much adored ones but now turned foes…..Always embraced will be my present day adversaries…

 From the relaxed and easy surroundings of my past.

… They thought nothing to speak ill of me…

Their evil and vile language so unspeakable….so completely incomprehensible….

“I’m on my knees before You…..

I submit!”

“Where must I go from here Lord…

Do I concede to my once loved adversaries… or do I carry on without them?”

This is where this hard fought battle has found me….

 Among an open void filled with thorns and spikes

  A mighty wasteland it has now become, once vibrant and beaming with color.

I’m even more desperate to advance among the corn fields and forest You gave me…

 With the loving prince you once hand-picked.

 A ferocious warrior indeed who rescued this hurting daughter from afar…

And will always kept her safe and warm within.

I long to proceed to the winding and peaceful paths which clearly scream your Name,

 And abruptly awaken me from sleep….

…And bring me back to life once again.

Surely a hidden and heavenly blessing I have yet to fully realize…

For the poison also inhabits Your wondrous beauty which equally sustain us both .

cabin trees

“For son treats father contemptuously, daughter rises up against her mother, daughter in law against her mother in law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own household.”

(Micah 7:6)

 

 

“Sustain me Lord, please hear my plea this cold and bitter morning….

For my perseverance is severely lacking,

Please help me complete this long and hard life’s journey.”

Allow us both now to seek refuge in the forest you have given us…

For our twilight years are fast approaching.

 And the hard labor of years behind us… are scoffed and ridiculed…

they remain unnoticed…

By those who do not know You……..