“I said, oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.”
(Psalm 55: 6 NIV)
Early morning on the first day of March, the cold rain is pouring down like sheets of melting ice in this messy transition of His miraculous seasons….
And my soul screams out to Him just like His seasons of everlasting change….
Fickle… yet faithful…
Discontent… yet satisfied…..
Doubtful….yet so very hopeful
Depressed….yet eternally happy!
Alive… yet dying!!!!
Pouring out my own tears of icy rain in my deepest dark sorrows of late wintertime…
Only to the One who listens to my ever-evolving yearly cries….
“Why do You leave me here?”
“In this dead winter barren, a land of loss and suffering?”
I long for Your paradise
“Glory, glory in Immanuel’s Land!”
And……What a barren wasteland in this finite time…
it has truly become….
Of pain…and suffering…..
Of heartache and sure death!
I so try to love You always and stay faithful to Your Promises!
My unanswered questions just as many as Your long- awaited answers…
I have yet to hear You speak…
I so desire to see Your face and kiss Your trampled, scorned feet!
But I will continue to walk blindly into this vast void of cold bitter darkness.
And in this freezing rain I fear will soon turn to freezing snow….
I glance out at Your wondrous creation and see my first season’s mourning dove…
I do not hear his mourning dove song….
As much as I try to listen, he stands silent in this freezing rain.
Sitting heroic and patiently …
Not even a ruffle of feathers does he flutter….
Perched high and mighty…
He is and always is!
Though I truly feel….
He is mocking me.
Unfazed by the current condition of Your varied and wondrous seasons…
Is he only there to remind me?
Of Your undying promises?
The promises You will keep!!!!
The promises you will keep to me, my Lord?
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, He will never let the righteous be shaken.”
(Psalm 55: 22 NIV)
Yet we deny what He shows us…in our deepest sorrow!