“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
(Psalm 13: 1 ESV)
Will you forget me forever….as I struggle to feel Your warmth and protection….the Light of Life has slowly drained once again into a deepened abyss from which I cannot see…this dark and lonely place that questions all unconditional love and entraps its unwelcome inhabitants from Your never-ending Grace and Mercy…
Will you forget me forever…as I have retreated back into blackened nothingness…this complete void of Your love for I no longer feel Your hand reaching out for mine….Your fatherly embrace has abruptly gone…. Oh …how I unwittingly recognize this cliff from which I now stand….the storm clouds gather ahead of me and the rocks below my feet are softly drifting… causing me to free fall into a whirlwind of chaotic motion… a fast free fall into stinging unworthiness…..for I will never be worthy of Your love….
Will you forget me forever….do You remember my confessed love for You? Or do you only recall my many failures and broken promises? My sins are great and multiply rapidly as I age…my heart is ever wanting but my flesh is always weak. My gross negligence is built upon an excess foundation of failures which leads to unrepentance…..and this leads to the unworthiness I am now entrapped in ….oh… how I long to hear You call my name from afar!
To hear You call me “daughter” in this dark and lonely place…
I only ask ….Will You forget me forever?