Light in the Darkness

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.” (Psalm 139:12 ESV)


Have you ever felt utter despair?  A kind of crippling hopelessness which strangles your dreams and desires for life.  Despair can come wrapped in many varied life packages…the unexpected death of a child….or the sudden loss of a family member or friend…A terminal diagnosis ….or an unrelenting chronic pain residing deep inside….the destruction of property and of sacred life brought about by the massive demolition of corrupt leaders or rebels with a cause….or the destruction of property and sacred life brought about by daily social unrest, hatred, or extreme injustice.

      When I think back on the events of my life, there are times when I struggled with despair, a deep and uncontrollable hopelessness which paralyzed and possessed my days and my nights.  My last utter despair came quite unexpectedly.  The aftermath was quite apparent and long-lasting.   Years later my focus now is helping others find a complete recovery from despair … the complete healing of a struggling hopelessness…and to help them see the undeniable power of Christ to heal and restore.


        I recall with full clarity and precision the day I found my complete healing and my utter despair was no more.   I was sitting alone…isolated and frightened… so weary and tired of my struggling predicament.  As I mumbled my way through my distorted thoughts, I gently closed my eyes just hoping for a brief reprieve of the moment and  what I found there was much more… for in my struggling despair…He was there…….


…I thought I noticed a powerful spirit…yet I was holding on too tightly to my despair…

        I became very frightened by His apparent sovereign presence…yet I was completely relieved…

        He seemed to appear at first as an obscure figure…yet He was blinding illuminating light…

        He seemed to be so distant…yet He was so close …close enough to feel His radiating strength and unconditional love and mercy…

        I wanted to flee…yet I thought I heard Him call me by my name…

        I was trembling and shaking…yet He calmed my spirit and soothed my soul…

        I was completely defeated…yet He had already won the war…

        I quickly dissolved into nothing…yet He embraced me with such familiarity and warmth…

        I finally surrendered with nothing to give Him ….yet He gave me all in return…..

“…Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.” (Isaiah 50:10 ESV)


When you close your eyes in times of despair, who is there? 


 “The Lord’s mercy often rides to the door of our hearts on the black horse of affliction.  Jesus uses the whole range of our experiences to wean us from earth and woo us to Heaven.” 

—Charles Spurgeon—


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